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During my late 20's, in my quest for Mr Right, I often asked the same above questions to tarot readers during tarot card readings …
A very good friend of mine, Fiona, who had every self help book under the sun proudly on display in her living room floor-to-ceiling Ikea(esque) bookshelves - recommended that I should buy and read the now very famous paperback book (originally published in 1992) Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus, written by John Gray - which in this new age of the internet also comes in ebook downloadable format …
Anyway I asked Fiona if I could borrow the said book from her to which she replied words to the affect of "no, get your own copy, the information is way too important and you will need to read the book and then re-read it and at times you will need to refer back to it, when he's behaving in a certain Men Are From Mars way".
I promptly went to the nearest book shop with an extensive self help section and carefully scanned the books with my searching eyes until I happened upon the book that sent me on my shopping expedition, plucked it from the bookshelf before me, quickly read the back cover, flicked through the front contents chapters list and proceeded to the cashier at the checkout and purchased the ultimate understanding relationships book ever known to humankind, Martiankind and Venusiankind …
When I got home, I made my self an instant cup of coffee (lazy moi) and then settled my self nice and comfortably on my 3 seater sofa and then proceeded to read the introduction in which John Gray explains the very touching and emotional incident between he and his wife shortly after the birth of their (then baby) daughter which served as a prompt for John Gray to further research the differences and emotional needs that men and women both have as well as sowing the seeds of inspiration for writing Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus …
A few of the many chapters include, Men Go To Their Caves And Women Talk, How To Motivate The Opposite Sex, Men Are Like Rubber Bands, Women Are Like Waves and Keeping The Magic Of Love Alive etc …
All Men And Women Are Equal
But Different
The first chapter which shares the same name as the title of the book, Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus details that Men and Women are equal but that also … Men and Women are different … Now this may be a concept that the very politically correct gender anti - bias establishment might not like to hear, let alone evaluate - but nevertheless if we allow common sense to prevail, most of us will probably agree with John Gray, that Men and Women are equal but that Men and Women are different biologically (which cannot be sanely disputed) but also behaviourally and emotionally.
Now it is because Men think in a certain emotional way, that Men expect Women to think, act and respond in this prevalently male fashion - and vice versa - because Women think in a certain emotional way, that Women expect Men to think, act and respond in this prevalently female fashion … and it is due to these differences and perceived ways of understanding and relating to each other in a romantic, long term relationship or marriage that many problems begin to bubble to the surface and cause (un-necessary) difficulties in any said relationship or marriage …
If You Meet Me Half Way
Ok so now we understand that there's an emotional distinction between Martian Males and Venusian Females but John Gray explains that this distinction need not be a divide and that by discerning this distinction or differentness - couples can remedy and repair and greatly improve their romantic relationships, in fact John Gray imparts that these differences between the genders should be appreciated ...
Therefore with this knowledge, a Man can learn to respond to his Female partners emotional needs in a certain way that will be positively received by her and of course vice versa - a Woman can learn to respond to her Male partners emotional needs in a certain way that will be positively received by him …
Arrest The Stress
John Gray imparts to the reader, that the S - word - namely Stress - is handled and coped with by Men and Women in very dissimilar ways …
When a Man is having a hard time processing his thoughts and emotions, he is very likely to withdraw in to his own private space to spend some much needed time alone … Yet when a Woman is experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings she will talk … and talk … and talk …
Let Him Walk And Listen To Her Talk
Now because a Woman has a natural inclination to talk, talk, talk when she's feeling confused, she naturally assumes that a Man will also want to talk when he's feeling confused - and when a Man is feeling muddled he is naturally inclined to believe that a Woman will hide away until she arrives at a solution to her problems …
However John Gray advises his female readers to allow her Male love partner to regress to his own private space and trust that he will come back to her in his own good time and thus too, John Gray encourages his male readers to listen, listen, listen to his Female love partner when she is in obvious talk, talk, talk mode.
Tarot And Talking
Following on from the fact that the Ladies of the human species likes to thrash out her feelings through the medium of speech and communication, makes Tarot and Oracle Readings such a beneficial service because a woman who is feeling rather overwhelmed and emotionally mixed up, doesn't necessarily want to go to a therapist or seek counselling … but she needs to talk and so what better way of doing this is there? than having a reading with a Professional Tarot or Oracle Reader (apart from talking to her romantic partner).
Feeling Needed Isn't Greedy,
Feeling Appreciated Is Never Wasted
According to John Gray, for a loving and romantic relationship to flourish between a Man and a Woman, a Woman needs to understand that her Man needs to feel needed and a Man needs to realize that his Woman needs to feel appreciated …
This is because Men have evolved to be competitive but when a Man cares about and loves someone it brings out the best of him and thus he is therefore motivated to not only think about himself but to selflessly give to and care about another - his Woman …
Womenkind however have developed to receive and to reciprocate, therefore when a Woman is being taken care of and supported by her Man, she feels respected and validated and hence within her romantic relationship, she too becomes the best version of herself.
Now for the politically correct, the whole Men are givers and Women are receivers may be an uncomfortable theory to grapple with, however the premise of Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus is that Men and Women are equal but Men and Women are emotionally and naturally different and that gender politics should be strictly prohibited from romantic relationships if you want your relationship to thrive and survive!
Gifted With A Book
On Your Wedding Day
To the negative, the reason why the divorce rate is so high, could possibly be due to the fact that as a society we are now constantly bombarded with gender neutrality - hence Men may think that a Woman ought to give, give, give - just as he has evolved throughout the centuries to do … and that Women may believe that Men ought to receive - just as she has evolved throughout the centuries to do … Perhaps the divorce rate could be lowered if every couple on their wedding day received a copy of Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus as a wedding present from the state … hey it's just an idea …
Woman I'm Going To
Ping My Way Back To You
When a Woman is feeling freaked out because she hasn't seen or heard from her Man for a while, she needs to bear in mind, that once he has gathered and collected his thoughts and worked out how best to deal with whatever problem, issue or emotion that has at best upset his equilibrium or at worst, vexed him, he will return to her, as his reinvigorated better self …
Furthermore, often times a Man needs to miss his Woman so that he can feel the pangs of emotional closeness and may indeed (even subconsciously) pull away from her for a while in order to create these exact feelings ...
Perhaps as a side note (this is entirely moi, Ruby Romina's theory) just perhaps this is a throwback to the time our stone age, male hunter gatherer ancestors would go off for days to bring back enough food for the females and children of the tribes.
Therefore for all the married ladies (and those of you in committed relationships) please don't chase your Man whilst he is spending some much needed Man time ALONE … by chasing him, you will unwittingly cause him to seek even more time spent apart from you … let him miss you … he will be back …
The Venusian Wave
When a Man falls for a Woman it is often just as much about her bright and sunny disposition as it is the strong physical attraction he has towards her ...
However - according to John Gray, many Men make the mistake of taking this Womanly state of mind for granted and thus alack alas, when his Womans mood dips and becomes dull, lacklustre or even melancholy, he may think that he is to blame and so to compensate oftentimes he will try and talk some common sense and logic in to the Woman … unfortunately when a Man tries to rescue his Woman in this way, she almost certainly will be unreceptive.
This is because a Woman needs to be allowed to plummet to the depths of her emotional malaise and when she does, she will surely recover and start to climb upwards towards the light of happiness once again … hence Women are like waves, ever crashing to the surface and then passively drawing back to calmer currents before once again crashing to the sand and rolling back … over and over again ...
Remember that all a Man has to do, while his Woman is feeling low, is listen to her talk and let her verbally thrash out her feelings to him …
The Magic Of Martian & Venusian Love
In these times of high divorce rates, relationships that stand the test of time almost seem to have some sort of magic ingredient … and that little pinch of extra something, is understanding … understanding yourself and understanding your husband, wife or life partner ...
So to keep the magic of love alive in your own very special and sacred romantic relationship - you need not do any spell casting as you will notice that magic is spelt without a "k" in this context - when it comes to the longevity of maintaining your intimate romantic relationship with your significant Martian or Venusian lover, it is imperative to be aware that at times being in a relationship - no matter how loving - can bring unsettling and difficult feelings to the surface - but Men and Women ought not hide or suppress such emotions.
No instead these unresolved inner conflicts from the past need to be dealt with in the here and now by way of either talking things through with your partner or a trusted friend, counsellor (or even a Tarot Cards Reader who will be well versed in resolving painful matters lodged in the subconscious) so that such issues do not make a re-appearance in your future, that you are bound to continue to share with your Male Martian lover or Venusian lady lover ... as long as you keep a copy of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus on your bookshelf … heck in fact keep another copy on each bedside cabinet … and another copy in the lounge … and another copy in the car … and another copy on an e-reader … and another …
The End
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Ruby Romina is a Writer and Tarot Reader - you can have a typed chat reading with Ruby at PsychicWorld.Com telephone reading with Ruby at Psychics.Com and you can have a video reading with Ruby at DumSpiroSpero.World
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